He had no code. He had no honor

And you thought baseball was about hits and runs, strikes and balls, safe and out. Wrong again. Apparently it’s about honor and code. You know, like the marines . . .

Lt. Kaffee: “What was your intent?”
Lance Cpl. Dawson: “To train him, sir.”
Lt. Kaffee: “To train him to do what?”
Lance Cpl. Dawson: “To think of the unit before himself. To respect the code.”
Lt. Kaffee: “What’s the code?”
Lance Cpl. Dawson: “Unit. Core. God. Country.”

But I digress with movie quotes. Baseball has a code as well. Also referred to as the unwritten rules of baseball. Of course, many have violated that by trying to write them down. Blasphemy! Doesn’t everyone realize that once you write them down, they’re no longer unwritten rules??? Respect the code, man! Aww, the heck with it.

Man people smarter than I have written articles, blogs, and even books on the subject. The most famous recent one is (hint, gift idea for me) Jason Turbow’s book “The Baseball Codes”. But for now, let me illuminate some of the more famous ones, plus a couple of strange ones that I, and many others, just learned about this season.

Respect the Other Team . . .
- Don’t steal a base when your team is way ahead. But how far is too far ahead now-a-days?
- Don’t trot too slowly around the bases after you hit a homerun, and don’t stare at your home run too long. Instead, be like Scott Rolen; put your head down and jog quickly around the bases.
- Don’t hit our guy with a pitch, especially if WE think YOU did it in purpose. Cuz if you do, our pitcher will have to respect his teammates and retaliate (see below)
- Don’t try and steal our signs. (Or at least don’t let us catch you doing it. Especially with binoculars, for crying out loud.)
- Don’t try and break up a no-hitter with a bunt. Man-up and swing away, you pansy.
- Don’t bunt for a base-hit if your team is way ahead. And don’t take too many pitches. And don’t swing on a 3-0 count. Basically, if you’re way ahead, stop trying so damn hard. You know, like in little league when your coach wouldn’t let you steal third base, because you were already ahead 17-0.
- Don’t slide into a base too aggressively. Keep your spikes down and you better be aiming for the base with your slide, not the baseman.
- And . . . “Don’t wink, kid.” (Another movie quote)
(Penalty for any of the above is likely to be a pitch in your ear.)

Respect your own team . . .
- If their pitcher hits one of your players with a pitch and it looked intentional, it’s your job as the pitcher to drill one of their guys.
- If their pitchers hit too many of your teammates, even if they all seemed accidental, drill one of their guys anyway.
- Pitchers - if one of your guys just made an error, don’t glare at them or yell at them. Bad form, dude.
- Corollary . . . Pitchers, speed up your delivery time in between pitches. You’re putting your fielders to sleep (which makes them more likely to make that aforementioned error.)
- If your pitcher just made the second out of the inning, take your time getting to the plate for your at-bat. Put extra pine tar on your bat, tie your shoes, adjust your cup, step out of the box before the pitch, take a few pitches, etc. You want to give your pitcher time to catch his breath on the bench before retaking the mound. Yeah, that one is boring, but it’s fun to know anyway.

Respect the game . . .
- Catch the ball with two hands, you freakin’ hot dog! And don’t do a little skip when you make the catch. Yeah, I’m talking to you, Alfonso Soriano.
- When you hit the ball, RUN! If your long fly ball doesn’t go over the wall, or if the infielder bobbles your easy grounder, you will look like a big dumb schmuck if you’re just trotting toward first base.
- Hey drunk guy in the stands! If you are lucky enough to catch a home run ball, don’t throw it back on the field you doofus! It’s a major league baseball, dummy. You’ll probably never get one again.
- And keep your drunk ass in the stands. Unless you want to get tasered!
- This next one is called the Jimmy Edmonds rule. Yeah, we saw your diving play. It was great. But you don’t have to get up ever so slowly and put your hands on your knees pretending to be hurt or out of breath.

Don’t jinx it . . . or as Crash Davis said, “A player on a streak has to respect the streak!”
- Don’t talk to a pitcher who is throwing a no-hitter.
- Don’t step on the baseline when entering or leaving your fielding position.
- Repeat any action you can think of to keep a good streak going (including clothing, bad hygiene habits, good luck charms, food, routines, etc)
- And don’t forget to kiss your cross necklace, point to the heavens, and thank God for letting you get that hit. He was watching . . . and he likes your team better than the other team.

And now for the new rules that has everyone writing about unwritten rules (wink, wink) . . .
- Apparently a batter/runner shouldn’t trot across the mound on his way back to his base or the dugout. Who knew? But Alex Rodriguez now knows.
- Don’t curse and slam your bat if you don’t cream the ball as you expected to. Apparently this is a lack of respect to the pitcher. As I wrote in a previous blog, the pitcher needs to lighten up!

Thanks for reading, and for heaven’s sake, RESPECT THE CODE!